GUYS WHO I HAVE TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE CRUSHES ON:
1. Rubilee, the incredibly adorable kid in my ESL class. But he's freaking 18, you guys!!! That's such cradle-robbing - at least Sarah's guy is legal! I promise not to act on the attraction, I swear, but you gotta at least let me admire the goods. And, as a bonus, he hardly speaks any English, which would make our relationship flow so smoothly.....
2. Donald, my friend Noelle's former boyfriend. This one is SO off-limits, cause Noelle is one of my best girls, and she's totally still hung up on him so it would be total hara-kiri to our friendship to even go there. BUT, he's cute and he's smart and funny. *sigh*
3. Nate, my GMAT teacher. He's married, of cos, so it's a no go. But he is so funny, in a kind of restrained way. And he thought I was funny too. Which is not always the case - I'm really used to people giving that nervous little twitter when I make a joke, like they don't really think it's funny but they want to throw me a bone in case I'm a homicidal maniac who will kill them if they don't acknowledge my attempts at humor.
GUYS WHO HAVE TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE CRUSHES ON ME:
1. Jose, the SCARY-ASS kid in my ESL class who wears his hair in this ghetto mohawk thingie and asked me at the end of last class how you ask a girl out. And I was very scared indeed.
2. Udiel, the cute kid in my ESL class who left a bouquet of roses on my car after the last class along with a note saying that he loves me. Which he must have transcribed from somewhere else cause he surely can't speak English that well, much less write it.
*Note the pathetic fact that the only people who have crushes on me are strangers from a foreign land who don't know anyone here and don't speak the language. They would probably develop a crush on an orangutan if it were nice to them.*
GUYS WHO I HAVE CRUSHES ON AND THERE IS TECHNICALLY NO REASON THAT WE SHOULDN'T DATE EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT I'M A TOTAL WEENIE:
1. Josh, the guy who works downstairs. He's SO CUTE and he's my age and he just happens to have broken up with his fiancee recently (i swear I had nothing to do with it). And occasionally we see each other by the elevator and we always joke around (major triumph for me, as usually my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth in the presence of hot boys). BUT, he was at the fundraiser the other night with a total slut-machine girl, my sources tell me, and so I fear that there is no hope for me. Besides, I haven't seen him by the elevators in a long time, and his office is such that I can't really "pop on by" to see him.
2. Alan, Mick's best friend from high school. Ran into him at the Saints game a few weeks ago and when he hugged me hello I was like "Zing!" But alas, we parted ways before I could say, "Hey, since Mick is engaged and all, dontcha think it would be ok for you to call me?" He's total bayou trash but something about his bandanna appeals to me.
GUYS WHO THERE ACTUALLY IS SOME HOPE OF ME DATING:
1. Steve, the guy at Kika's work who she is allegedly setting me up with. Although I'm getting the vibe that she would rather be the one going out with him.
2. Chris Fuller, David Rizzo's friend who allegedly likes me. We hung out at the Halloween party last Friday and afterwards at the Gold Mine in the Quarter. It was fun but he's a total man-pimp, you guys. I don't know....
That's all folks. My paltry, pathetic romantic life. Laid out in black and white for the world to see. I promise that future posts won't be so Sex in the City-esque.